I don’t know if I am stressed or just fatigue. I sleep on time (except the days that I watch shows till midnight) but still crave for more. There have been times when my brain still keeps working and I am unable to sleep because of so many thoughts in my mind. There are days when I eat a lot, but then there are also days I am very cautious of my weight. My studies are okay but some subjects are just going awry and subjects I don’t even bother studying. My friendships are going great, I get know a lot of people I barely knew for the past 5 years in my high school life. But of course, there are some people who are never pleased with you. Of course, theres this guy that I used to like 3 years ago. Now, he’s everywhere and all the memories keep coming and its….hard.
Before going to school, I would look in the mirror and tell myself to be positive with everything. I would put a smile on my face when I enter and say hi to everyone. I try my best to hide my fatigue, stress and other feelings I don’t want my friends to know. I don’t want others to see me as weak so I force a smile everyday. No one knows how tired I am of everything, how I wanna beat up the people that backstabed me, how I despise others insecurities and these stupid trends nowadays. And yet I still go to school and repeat the same routine and feel the same thing. Even music can’t help me soothe myself.
I just wish that I don’t ever have to care about the little things in life.