I don’t know if anyone remembers me but yeah Hi!. I have been away for so long and I have my reasons for it. One of it would be, I’m in college now. Studying pre-med. Yeah, who knew? I was reading my old posts about my ambitions and whaddya know? Doctor-to-be. Well, not really confirmed yet but, you know, I have hopes. Its not my dream but I’m fulfilling my parent’s dream and seeing them proud of me is a dream I wish to fulfill. I thought long and hard about my dreams. I may love the English language and all but I don’t love it enough ( and confident enough) to pursue a career in it. I sound lame but I accepted reality. I should just stop thinking about how I want my future to be without actually giving it a long thought. I was a kid, what would I know?
Besides, everyone in my year keeps saying they regret taking pre-med and should’ve taken language instead. That was from someone who won a debate of the year award and said that she was always ‘interested’ in the English language and wants to be a writer. Oh grow up, life isn’t easy. In my own perspective, just because you are fluent in a specific language, or you love writing, doesn’t mean you’re already an expert. Being a writer isn’t just about venting out your emotions about someone you hate in class or about a silly crush, it’s more professional. If you wanna be a writer, make sure you are actually equipped with knowledge that actually spans throughout the world. Not just flowery vocabs and teenage angst.
College life is…challenging. Its hard to describe. I survived the first semester. It was fucking hell on earth. I thought of suicide, dropping out and running away every day. But hey, that’s life. I made it through in one piece so I’m good. I’m halfway through my second semester. There’s always ups and downs. Friends, cute boys, shit load of assignments, limited time, people you’re not so fond of, people who have shit taste in music and what not. I think this is the phase in life where you’re tested to the max. Some of my fellow friends have left, saying they can’t cope. Some transferred to become teachers. Which puzzled me at first but maybe its what they wanted to be. So let it be. Anything can happen when you’re in college. I’m…surviving.
Probably the best way for me to survive is to not give a fuck about the others with the snobby attitudes, the ones that skip class and of course, the cute boy I had a crush on. I emphasize on the HAD. It’s my first time being on my own, without my parents keeping their eyes on me. I can be independent. I make my own choices and such which is hard for me at first but I got used to it. So far nothing too bad has happened.
That is all for now. I’ll update again soon if anything interesting happens. If I have time. See you soon!