This Awkward Silence 

I got used to the silence, letting it engulf me once in a while. I’d close my eyes and wander away. I swim through the seas of my secrets and thoughts. It’s never ending. 

I never told my parents about the shit I go through everyday.

I never told them,

that I had shitty grades during the mid-semester exams.

about how hard it is to juggle between studies and social life

about the boy that stole my heart and broke it into a million pieces

about handling the pain by talking with numerous other boys just to feel wanted

that I cry sometimes whenever things turns to shit

that I feel like running away from everything all the time

that the thought of taking my own life 

I didn’t get a spot for the interview to be a doctor which happens to be their dream 

I crushed it

that I lost hope and I’m just wasting time 

it’s too late to change

that I’m going insane

I didn’t tell them anything and kept it inside because I vowed to not be the problematic child anymore. That I could prove to them that I can be strong enough to handle everything without their help. All these years. The dream of seeing them proud of me is vague now. So vague that it’s disappearing. 

But I still kept my silence. I stayed. It’s almost over. For now, I stay silent. 


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s