Embarrassing Crush-ing

I used to have a crush on this guy ever since my premed period. I guess I could finally say I’m  (kinda) over him? We’re uni mates but not taking the same course anymore. Firstly, I rarely have crushes. The last crush of mine was when I was a senior in secondary school and that was it. Maybe it’s because I never really focused on finding a special someone in my life. I enjoy being not committed to anyone since I prefer to finish my degree and then straight for my masters. It never occurred to me that it was necessary to have a special someone . Maybe I was raised to focus on other priorities like studies and family relationships. 

However, I saw a tweet from my crush ( I was so brave to follow him on Twitter) that was such a turn off. He listens to 5sos. Out of all the other artists I could tolerate , he listens to the band that I can’t tolerate at all. Yes, I judge someone. I made a post about that before. People say they don’t judge people based on anything but trust me when I say that they judge the fuck out of people based on anything. They just don’t want to sound like a dick when in reality, everyone just can’t accept opinions about themselves by other people. I think it’s better that way so that you’ll know what to improve about yourself. You can’t change shit taste in music or the clothes they wear but you could change some other things in them. 

Back to the topic, I started to think why I liked the guy in the first place. Most of it because he used to be a really nice, smart, charming and funny guy. After he got a bit well-known by everyone in uni, he kinda became a dick. His grades dropped and he was even called a fukcboy at some point. It kinda ruined the image of the guy you liked and makes you think why the fuck you fancied them. I got over him after I realized that and focused on my studies instead. But there are times whenever I see him on my timeline and think he’s still as cute as ever writing cheesy quotes, shitty song lyrics from a shitty pop song and cat photos. 

Crushes are embarrassing. I’m turning 20 this year but I still haven’t passed the crush level yet. I have less drama in my life so that’s a plus for me. Don’t focus too much on finding the right guy/girl until you forget to live the life given to you. John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” That was a cheesy quote. Guess where I got that from. Life Is Strange. You thought it was my crush, didn’t you? He’s not that smart to know who John Lennon is. 



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